Episode 78 - Do you suffer from TMT?

You might be sat there thinking we mean something akin to 'PMT', but no. We're talking about 'TMT' - Too Many Tabs open!!

It's what happens when life gets too busy and we forget to shut down some of the figurative tabs in our busy lives! Just as with a computer, having too many tabs open can make the operating system run slow and sluggish. Have you experienced this?

In this episode we talked about how often we check if we've got too many tabs open on our devices; how many tabs were open in our heads that day; what gets forgotten because our brains have too many tabs open; strategies for when we have too many tabs open in our heads; how we decide which plates to spin and which to drop; and when TMT has got us in to a pickle.

Enjoy and we'll see you next time.

Bye for now!

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/andrey-rossi/seize-the-day

License code: IXCNEBVQPQVTC05X

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/andrey-rossi/seize-the-day

License code: IXCNEBVQPQVTC05X

We'd love to connect:

Rachel:

WEB: http://www.inspiredlifegroup.co.uk
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/Rachel-Haith
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/inspiredlifegroup

Jenny:
WEB: https://jenuineconsulting.com/
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenuineconsulting/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/jenny.gordon.370

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Good good day. We say good day because we have listeners listening from all over the world. Very exciting. It is. Whatever time zone you're in, um, you are very welcome to this episode of the Rennie Show with Jenny Gordon, Rachel Hay, and a fabulous, fabulous, very exciting guest.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Stephan Thomas. Hello, Stephen. Hello.

unknown 0:26

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Fabulous and exciting.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

I'm very happy with.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

We're delighted you're here.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

It's going to be an awesome episode. Um you will we'll let you know later where you can connect with, Steph. But for now, if you have never, I mean, why would you never, but if you have never um come across Stephen Thomas so far, he is the author of Business Networking for Dummies, the founder of Connect Network, a professional speaker and MC, and his clients include BT, Lloyd's Bank, the Chartered Institute of Management Accountants, the Lou of the Year Awards, which is a favourite um for Jenny and I, which we um intend to probably find out a little bit more about, um, and many more. He currently lives in Oxfordshire with his wife Sharon, and between them they have five grown-up children. Outside of work, Stefan is still a punk and has been to over 750 punk gigs in his lifetime. That's so far. So far, so far, still going. Um, and has several already booked this year, so maybe we'll find a bit out about those as well. So thank you for joining us, Steph. It's great to have you here with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

I'm really flattered to be invited on. Um, thank you for the introduction. I I love talking to people. Um, and I I I'm looking forward to this conversation because as we've discussed, this really isn't scripted. I don't actually know what you're about to ask me. So I'm I'm both excited and nervous about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Well, hopefully you're in safe hands, but we we say we we talk about everything from socks to self-belief, and it could go anywhere, and it usually does. So buckle in, people. Um, and we hope that you enjoy the ride.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

So oh, and it's me. I get I get first question, which I'm very excited about. So, in a previous life, Steph, I don't know if you know this, in a previous life, I was uh a clinical nurse specialist working in gastroenterology with children, and so toilets uh are a really, really big deal for me, uh, and I know they are for you too. So, my first question is well, it's a two-parter. Am I allowed a two-parter? The first question is where's your favourite toilet, and what makes a a toilet uh a possible winner of the Lou of the Year award?

SPEAKER_00 2:46

That really is two parts, yes. So my so I I have ultraative colitis, just to give your listeners and viewers a bit of um context around this. I was diagnosed with ultraative colitis in 1997, and I was in hospital the year before last. Um, whilst I was in hospital, I probably for the first time started posting really openly about having ulcerative colitis. And weird thing, like the world didn't end. I started putting it on my social media, and people were like really interested. Um, interested that I was talking about it, interested in the journey as a professional speaker. So, favourite toilets, they're going to be Oxford. Um one thing that really impresses me is that Westgate Oxford, the the shopping centre in Oxford, um, which I have in my lifetime seen two generations of the one that was built in 1970 and the one that was built about a decade ago. Um, they have a this toilet is for everyone toilet. So they have ladies, gents, accessible toilets, baby changing, and a this toilet is for everyone toilet. And one of the reasons why that's my favourite is that I don't look disabled. And for the benefit of your listeners, I'm doing rabbit ears, I don't apparently look disabled. I've been told that whilst coming out of accessible toilets several times. So the this toilet is for everyone is a really great choice for me. Um, because it has everything which I need in there, which I'll come to with the Lou of the Year awards in a minute. Um, it has the toilet, it has a basin, it has a bin. Men's toilets typically don't have sanitary bins in them. Um, so for men with ultra difficcolitis, with prostate problems, etc., that can be a challenge because sometimes you have stuff you have to dispose of. Um so the this toilet is for everyone toilet at Westgate Oxford's, I think is is an absolute winner for me. Plus, as you've mentioned, I live in Oxfordshire, we tend to be in Oxford itself at least once a week. Um, so that's really, really useful for me. It also means that like trans folk have got a toilet which they can go into because this toilet is for everyone. People with invisible disabilities, such as myself, don't face the questions that we have coming out of disabled toilets. Um the Lou of the Year Awards, gosh, they send inspectors out and they have a hundred-point um checklist on their inspection. Wow. So the Lou of the Year Awards, which I'm very proud to be associated with as their MC um for for their annual awards event, but during the year, for for the 364 days when they're not actually having the awards event, their inspectors are out, places enter the awards, and then their inspectors go and look at them. So there's quite a lot of really practical things in there. Um, does everything work? Um is there hot and cold water? Is there soap? If it's the accessible toilet, is it not being used as a storeroom? Um, is it really accessible? Yeah, does it fit to the measurements? And a lot of accessible toilets in restaurants are also used as the storeroom for all the cleaning materials. Yeah, exactly. So the measurements work, but you can't actually get a wheelchair in there because they've got everything else in. Um the the entrance for the Lou of the Year Awards include Weatherspoons, the Crown Estate, um, various of the train stations, um, various of the tourist attractions around the country, as well as individual campsites, caravan parks, shopping centres. So it's Becky Wall, who's the owner of Lou of the Year Awards, said that when she was little, whenever she went with her mum, particularly to eat at a restaurant, her mum would check the toilets before they would choose whether to stay. Because her mum said, if the bit you can see isn't clean, what does that tell you about the kitchen?

SPEAKER_02 7:02

And that's my grandma was exactly the same. And we we always used to say you'd cut it's it's the it's the loo of grandma's standard.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

And that's that's Becky's thing, and the whole vetting and inspection process is based around that. Um, and people win, and and and it's it's a a very joyous occasion. It's a very, very big business, the the toilet industry, and for the last couple of years, Jenny particularly, um, Crohn's and Colitus UK have been the chosen um charity for Lou of the Year awards. So that's always an important thing because that's a charity that's very close to my heart, of course. I think I've answered.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

I would love you have. I would also love it if they included there was a category for school toilets because I think there is um, I was part obviously part of my role in my nurse specialist. I I was um uh work did some work for NICE, um and um we I was involved in the guideline for uh constipation and uh IBS. So I say um bowels and toilets are very close to my heart, and often I think there's two things, often school toilets is where it starts. So that that disrespect or lack of respect for toilets as a as a service starts often at school, but kids uh in secondary schools have to ask, have to ask to go to the toilet if they need a poo, um, they have to ask for toilet paper, and they're given two squares, two squares of toilet paper to go. So A, everybody knows they're going, B, there's there's all the associated um teasing that potentially goes with it. Um, and and when I asked about why the toilets were locked, they said, well, because they're often vandalised and they're not respected and cared for. And I think it that's where it that's where the lack of respect for toilets, because I have a real thing about people who use toilets, um, don't often respect them because they leave them in a hell of a mess. And it's really hard for uh things like you know, transport truckers who are away from home a lot, who are using toilets in service areas, uh especially for lorry drivers and things. Um there is a huge amount of disrespect for toilets. So I don't think we talk about toilets enough and and how to behave in a toilet. You'd think it was obvious, wouldn't you, that you you leave it, you leave it at least as clean as when you found it, if not cleaner. Am I the only one who wipes the surfaces now?

SPEAKER_00 9:46

I did warn you that we might go off on a couple of tangents here. Something, an expression that Becky, um owner of Lou of the Year Awards, uses a lot is that poo is the last to boo. And so we are within my lifetime, we have become comfortable as a society talking about periods. Recently, we've become more comfortable talking about menopause. Um, since the two royal princes got involved, we've become more comfortable talking about mental health, and particularly male mental health, but we don't talk about poo. And and to answer one of your questions, there is already a category for schools, various local councils do enter. Um I'm horrified at what you've told me because I'm I'm 56 as we record this, but when I was diagnosed when I was 27, I was embarrassed at work having to go to the toilet more often than other people, and that was without a load of teenagers around me taking the mick out of me. Um, yeah, I mean, I I feel for kids at school if they've got to go through that, because you you do get the mick taken out of you, particularly if you're disappearing off for 10 minutes, and and that's it the the anxiety over toilets is a real thing. Whenever I arrive at a speaking gig, I will know within minutes. My wife Sharon knows this because it's my first job, I will know within minutes where the accessible toilet is in the building. I will also know where the one is that's a long way from everyone else, and I can sneak off to in private and secretly, and and I'm not embarrassed about stuff, but I do still try and find one on a different floor to where the event's going on, or yeah, I really feel for kids who have to um ask before they have there are many, many, many people who, for the reasons you've mentioned and others, um, you know, who don't who can't have a poo anywhere but in their home, their toilet at home.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

Um, and that causes, you know, lots of gastric problems. Uh there are it it's uh it's a whole nightmare. And yes, we've I've been talking about poo being the last to poo since about 19, I don't know, maybe 2000, um, when we first got involved. But it it's been it's it's been really school toilets have been really slow to change, I think.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Um it's a real issue. Uh my eldest daughter's school, most of the toilets are locked most of the day, either because of vandalism or because of people going in there to vape, or because when people congregate in the toilets, the the attitude of some of the young people these days means that the teachers can't get them out of the toilets because you can't manhandle them. You can't, you know, you can threaten sending them to the head or or whatever for punishment, but if they're not worried about that punishment, they're not gonna leave. And you know, they're they're not allowed to go to toilet in class time, basically, is the rule at their school. And if you can, as a female, get a period pass, but then of course, uh the same thing as you've alluded to, Jenny, people know you're on your period then if you've if you're got one of these passes and allowed to, you know, it's maybe you can have a poo, a poo pass.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Um, I used to go into schools to speak to teachers about you know how your gut works and why sometimes, particularly children who've got idiopathic constipation, um, you know, they don't they they they don't get the same stimulus as people who haven't. And therefore sometimes when they need to go, it's like oh, oh, I need to and sometimes it might be too late with the time, you know, if they have to wait to put their hands up, wait for a break, then they're in a hell of a mess. Um, and then it then their tease and then they're told they smell and all of that stuff. So it's it's it's a yeah, toilets are really, really important, aren't they? So thank you for the fabulous work that you do. Absolutely. Um and Becky, thank you. Um, and uh maybe we should we we should get Becky, maybe Becky, will Becky come on and talk to us about it.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Yeah, she definitely will. I'll I'll introduce you to the wonderful Becky Wall, um, holder of the British Empire Medal for some of her work. Um and she works alongside her husband Charles, um, the wonderful Jane Kibble and their team of 30 or 40 inspectors around the country who who are all amazing people. Um, so I'll put you in touch with Becky once. Yes, we'd love to be fabulous.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

We'd love to make Pooh not the last to boom anymore by spreading the word. Maybe that would be the name of the episode. Pooh's the last to boom.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

It would be a great name for an episode, it really would.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

Yes, we've we definitely we've we've written it down.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Love it.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Lovely, thank you, Stefan. Rach, it's your turn.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

My turn, my turn. So, Steph. Um, obviously, in terms of um networking, you know, you're a veteran networker, um, huge expertise, you've written books, um, you know, you've you've been around the block in terms of speaking and MCing and helping other people to do those things and to build their businesses. Um, what brings you the most joy about networking in general?

SPEAKER_00 15:07

I ran a session of my networking group early this morning at nine o'clock. We we kick off the week together, and one of the members is contributing to a book, and and I said, Oh, you've mentioned the name of the book. Can I um can can I surmise that the book is written by such and such? And he said, Oh, yeah, how did you know that? I said, Well, you know, I introduced you to this person. I bet that you met this person at one of this person's events. So what makes me happy, um, Romesh, who runs the FD consultant, is that I've made an introduction for him to Debbie Gilbert, um, who runs the best business women awards, the best SME Awards. Through that, Romesh has met the very wonderful Mindy Gibbons Klein, um, and he's contributing to one of Mindy's books. And and so when I hear that, or if I'm just in a meeting where two people who wouldn't have known each other unless I pulled them together, someone just drops into conversation. Oh, I've got him building a piece of software for me now, again, which happened um last week or the week before, that makes me really happy. I I'm a really big fan of this idea of the internal economy. If if all of us who are friends find opportunities for each other, basically, what goes around comes around. What the that the money stays in the internal economy. If if someone is buying from someone else that I know, then that's good for for all of us. That eventually, in my belief system, flows back to me. It's not why I do it, but but what goes around comes around, right? So spotting other people, I've I've done enough work in the background, I've got a relatively um enviable address book these days. I I get that. So being able to make introductions and spotting other people, get actual business and actual opportunities there, that's what makes me the most joy out of networking.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Absolutely love that. I mean, I can say it written on the book. Yeah, just as you were saying it, it's all written all over.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

But if we can just describe Stefan's face, it is it is a picture of joy.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

I'm gonna I'm gonna go off on a tangent about that, right? I think, I don't think, I believe that you've got to do that in networking without expectation of reward. So sometimes people advise me and they say, Why don't you why aren't you taking a commission from the stuff that you've introduced? And I think that changes the um motivation to do it. Yeah, I think the more you put out there without expectation of it coming back, the bizarre thing is that the more does come back well. And it's just nice, right? It's just nice being able to help out other people. And if I've done this work to build my address book to the extent that I have, I might as well put that to good use. And if it makes other people happy, with so many conversations at the moment about cost of living, about um the two major wars which seem to be going on, about the effect that all of that's having on the economy and on people's confidence to spend money, anything that we can do that to lubricate that in a positive direction, I think is a great thing. So, yeah, that does make me happy.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Absolutely love that. And can I ask then have you got a couple of top tips you'd give to anyone listening or watching about how to network effectively? Now I appreciate I'm not asking you to give away all the chips of the the you know the the work that you do that people pay you for, but one or two just top tips in the way that people can approach their networking to get more from it, which clearly by this uh and I very much agree um that giving is a huge part of that. But what else would you add in terms of top tips?

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Um if you can become the go-to person in the room, there is no downside to that. Um, about 16 years ago, I did some work for Barrett's Shoes, um, did quite a lot of training for them and so on. And I'd met the HR director of Barrett's Shoes at a at a networking event. And I got myself in a position where they would regularly phone me and say, Oh Steph, do you know a photographer? We know you know everyone. Do you know a photographer in Cardiff? And and there was that, and and a photographer in Cardiff is the one I particularly remember. I also found a private investigator for them and various bits and pieces. But it was like, we're we're opening a new store in Cardiff. Um their London PR company wanted to charge them a huge amount to send a photographer. So they wanted to know if I knew someone in Cardiff who would do the job. And I found someone and I put them in touch. But what would often happen is the Kathy was her name from Barrett's, she would say, Oh, great, thanks for the introduction to the photographer in Cardiff. Look, by the way, any chance you could get down to Brighton and do some training for us, so there was absolutely no downside to that for me at all. If you can become the go-to person in the room, so if you're the person who, when someone answers the phone, you're saying, Oh, hey, Steve, I've got an opportunity for you, I've got a recommendation for you. People are going to answer the phone to you. Um, on the occasions now where I phone someone up and say, might be a stupid question, but I'm offering this service, and because I know you, I reckon it might be suitable. People pick up the phone to me, people answer the phone to me, people don't mind if I phone up occasionally and sell them something because most of the time I'm offering them an opportunity. When you become the go-to person in the room, people answer the phone to you, and I've I've never ever come across a downside to people wanting to talk to me, people answering the phone. So so that's been a big thing. So that's number one, become the go-to person in the room. Um, the other one, which is probably in the wrong order, should have started with this one, is understand if you're new to networking, that a networking event is not a room full of people who've decided that they want to buy from you. Yeah, so it it's it's like if I were to phone one of you and say, I've got an idea for something that I think would be great for you, you should buy it. Can we have a Zoom meeting to discuss it? When you arrived at that Zoom meeting, you would be expecting me to sell to you. You would but you would know because we'd set it up that the point of this meeting is for me to say to you, This is what I've got, would you like to buy it? People go to networking events to sell their own stuff, they don't go to networking events to buy your stuff, and too many people, particularly new to networking, misinterpret. Interpret the networking event as an immediate sales opportunity. And and I think that's where a lot of people end up shutting the door where they could have left the door ajar and kept the conversation going for a lot longer. Um people go in too quickly, I think would sum it up.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Yeah, absolutely. And I and I think also people go with it, go with the I always go to networking. Uh I love networking because I like talking to people. Um and um, but often people go with a view of oh, I I need to sell something, whereas I go to go, oh, who can I meet? Who can I talk to? Um, who looks interesting. Um and it's that thing, isn't it? Be interested before being interesting. Um I think is always a is a is a great thing. It's but actually listen. Um, somebody was saying to me the other day, oh, networking is just uh pitches, it's all pitches. And I said, Well, it's it depends on choose your networking wisely. Going to the wrong one, clearly. Choose your networking wisely, um, and actually listen to the people that you're talking to.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

People like being listened to, yeah, it makes them feel good to feel heard and listened to, and that in turn helps with that relationship, doesn't it? And that trust.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Yeah, absolutely. So, and what if it is all pitches? You know, be the person who doesn't do a pitch. Um I I've done very few speed networking uh speed networking events in my time, but I don't pitch back. Um, I listen to people, I connect with people on LinkedIn, and then we keep the conversation going afterwards. It's like there's no downside to to listening to a load of people, but I I think what comes from that is that people think that the networking event is the beginning and the end of the conversation.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

It's just the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Just to treat it as the beginning of the conversation and the middle. Yeah, like I've I've met you two at various networking events and online and so on, and we're continuing the conversation now. And if I'd tried really hard to sell to you the first time that we'd met, as I'm sure people have done over the years, that door might have been shut forever. Um, and I I yeah, the networking event is just the start of the conversation. I think that's really important for people to to recognise.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Brilliant. Thank you for that. And that might be a another good opportunity to remind listeners uh about the Business Networking for Dummies book that Steph authored, which could be quite useful in this area.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

It's it's 12 years old now, um which amazes me. Um actually the anniversary of its publication is around now. Um, I ought to look it up. It's May sometime.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

Happy birthday. Yeah, I know. Happy book birthday.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

It's still um it's still selling, and I'm really proud of it. Um I I need to write some more books. I need to write some more books, but I haven't yet, but I will.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

We'll keep an eye out for them.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

That leads me beautifully to my third question, which is about one of the one of the criteria for coming on uh the show as a guest is making a positive difference in the world. And you you do a lot, um, in in in my humble opinion, my not so humble opinion, um you do an amazing amount for uh to make a positive difference in the world. So my third question is um what's next? What's what's your what's what's next for you going forward as a young man in the prime of his life? Um we're all in the prime, aren't we? Absolutely. Um what's what's next? What's next for you? What if you what apart from writing more books?

SPEAKER_00 25:32

It's a really great question for now because the last couple of years have seen quite a lot of interruptions, stuff that I wasn't expecting. Um I've had surgery a couple of times. Um I had a significant bereavement. We had um some issues locally recently, which I've had to deal with, and I think so. I'm coming out of a period of I think a bit of a slump in as much as quite a lot of my attention, quite a lot of my bandwidth was was directed elsewhere. So, yes, more books need to be written. I I've got two books planned. Um, I just need to do the thing of getting the words out of my head and and into Google Docs. Um, I need to get that done. The books exist in my head, but the it's the typing of them which takes time, and I have to type. I can't dictate books. Um, it's just my personal preference, it's how I work. Um, so I I need to do that. Um, I've got a uh a live event coming up, um, and I'm also starting something here in Whitney. Um you you heard it here first. Um I I need to sort out the start date, but I'm I'm gonna start Steph Talks. Um that's the working title. Um, so we've got a great venue here in Whitney, the Corn Exchange.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Um, it's lovely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

So imagine a podcast recording, um, but we'll do it live with an audience. Um, so that's what that's gonna be. Because I I I think I I know about communication, it turns out. I'm quite good at communication, I'm quite good at sales, I don't know about finance, I don't know about bookkeeping, I don't know about um personal developments. I there's so much that I don't know, but I've got I know, but I've got all of these wonderful people around me who do know, and and I quite like talking to people myself. So Steph Talks is an idea which I'm I'm keen to move forward with, where we just get me and a couple of people like on a stage here in Whitney with a live audience, and we of course record it, we of course put it out as a podcast, of course, put it out as a YouTube, but we also get people around us who can actually ask questions on the spot. Um, or a bit like question time for business. I'll go with that actually. I I I I'll see um I'll see if the BBC kick off too much if I want to I think question time.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

I think question time needs a bit of a revamp, I think it needs a refresher. So I think Steph Time I would agree it's a great it's a great um it's a great placement upgrade.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Watch question time anymore. I would get through TVs at the rate of one a week at the moment.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

So yeah, so I think Steph Talks is a very, very viable alternative.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

So that's yeah, that's that's the plan. I it's a really interesting question because you I mean you you joked very kindly about me being young, but I'm 56 right. So I think you you or I do get to the stage where um at least one of my grandfathers was was retired before this age. You you get to the stage where you think, okay, so I've got another decade. Um realistically, Gary Vaynerchuk seems to disagree with us all on that. He he says we can keep keep going forever. So it really is time to get on with writing the books, um or the pension, as as would be their their subtitle, really. Yeah, good timing to get on with stuff like that. I think um my wife has really reinvented herself at age 60. I I think there's a a bit of that.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Sharon, yeah. I haven't met Sharon, but I feel like I know her because of your Facebook.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Um yeah, so she's really reinvented herself with her charity shop stuff, and I think I'm probably I'm getting more used to being myself, whereas I spent so much of my corporate career being the person that other people wanted me to be. So I think this is yeah, there you go. Another long answer to a short question.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

It's okay. Brilliant though. The thing about podcasting is you want a long answer, yeah, um, and you have the added advantage of being interesting and long. Um, so that's you know, that's uh that's a plus plus for us.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Yeah, and I'm I'm also not precious, so if you need to edit any of that out, I don't edit.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Oh no, the the beauty of this show, it's it's recorded, comes live, warts and all, what you see is what you get. We don't we've never edited, we go um every cough splutter and um is stays in.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Should I we all of that goes in because we think that um there is um something about being being ourselves. We we talk a lot about being ourselves, being you, um, or me being me, you being you, you being me. So that being yourself um and the ability to be natural and periodical, unapologetic, um and unpolished at times is actually because that's human, and I think the human connection um is what's missing often. So when people go, oh, I couldn't possibly do that because look how polished and shiny and perfect they are, it's like, well, actually, no. We're just normal, you know. We we we go to the toilet too, you know, all other things, everybody poohs, you know. That that whole thing around being as normal as possible, you can still be fabulous um and real.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

So, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

Okay, so Steph, it's time to turn the tables, and this is your opportunity to ask us. So, what do you want to ask?

SPEAKER_00 31:16

I'd be really interested to know, and you've touched on it, you've touched on it just then because one of the biggest conversations that all of us in business are having at the moment is about the impact of AI. Um, what I would really like to know, which is is linked to that, is what changes, what significant changes have you two seen in business over the years that that you've been involved? What has stood out as positive and negative along the way? That's what I would really love to know.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Oh, interesting. Okay, I mean, I'll jump straight in. One one of the things I would say, uh I've I'm almost a bit. Well, I'm not hesitant to say it, I'm gonna say it anyway. But um AI, I think, is a brilliant example of some of what's changed for business and also obviously for life for people, but I think it's got positives and negatives, and it's it's all about how you how you employ it, do you understand it? You know, I think there's there seems to be a real I think there's people trying to use it for too many shortcuts where shortcuts aren't necessary, if that makes sense. So I think there are some great shortcuts to AI. Just one example, when we um record this show, obviously, as we've said, we don't edit, but we like to create clips to be able to put them out on social media. AI is brilliant at doing that. It will assess, you know, if we if we're doing a 30, 40 minute episode, it will assess what it thinks could turn into a viral clip. We haven't gone viral yet, but you never know. Yeah. Um, so I think there are lots of enhancements we can make with things like AI. Where it becomes a problem for me is where people use it to replace their own voice and to replace their own face. Now, AI imagery these days, I mean, it's so sophisticated, isn't it? There are some images that I'm sat there questioning, can you actually tell? Is it AI? Is it real? You know, it's it's that good. Um but again, coming back to that authenticity and really being you because people buy people, there for me is a sense that whether it's AI pictures or whether it's overuse of filters or anything like that on imagery, I just think, but why? What's why what are you hiding that you're not happy to show your own face? Now, you know, again, this is something we've discussed on previous episodes. Not everyone likes having their picture taken for various reasons, and that's absolutely fine. But, you know, if I'm gonna buy something from someone, I want to know who they are. I want to be able to see their face, not the edited version. And again, as we've said previously, I want to meet them face to face and meet the same person who I'm seeing online. And I I think it the same in terms of the voice that people are using, whether it's their voice or whether it's an AI-curated voice. I saw something interesting the other day about um there are perhaps too many people using AI to write the content rather than writing some content, feed it into AI and give it some instructions to see if it can make it better. And then, you know, edit what comes out and use it because it has then come from your own content kind of thing. And and for there's something really important for me about the the authenticity and and realness in what we see online. And I think because of extensive use of AI, I think it creates more doubt in people's minds about what to believe, what's real, what's not. You know, we all know that social media anyway is very curated. You know, we we share what we want to share, the things we share see of other people. It might be the whole story, it might not. We don't know because you know, we only see what we can see on the socials. So I I think I find it a bit of a shame that we don't really know what to trust. And I think this comes back to exactly what we've talked about today, which is the importance of connection, realness, you know, being in those rooms, actually being able to eyeball people and and build that trust, you know, become that go-to person that people trust because they know that what they see is what they get. Um, so yeah, I've waffled quite a bit there, but I I feel quite strong.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I think about all that.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Yeah. I think I think for me it's kind of um uh side by side. Who knew? And is is the immediacy of it. So the the immediacy of so you know, multiple streaming, you can get access to anything at any time. Um technology is fabulous and wonderful. Um, I don't want to be one of the you know, the beta max people who go, oh, AI, what oh, it's it's I remember because I'm dead old. Um I'm proud, by the way. Um I remember when when email addresses, the show shower was I am email addresses first came out, and I thought, that's never going to catch on. I used to remember telephone numbers, but I've got to now remember this great big long address, it doesn't really mean anything. Surely that won't catch on. And here we are with you know, so I think and I love the immediacy and the choice and all of that stuff, however, um there's always a downside, isn't there? And the downside for me is is the the the lack of space that people take because they have to be on all the time. There's no there's unless you are intentional, I talk a lot about being intentional, unless you are intentional about switching off, stepping back away. So I think we know what contributes to burnout. We know that as human beings we need rest, we need recharging, we need recuperation, we we need all of those things. Um, and I think the immediacy of everything, and you have to do more, faster, more of it again, faster, re- all of those things, um, means that there are more people whose mental health is at risk and their physical health is at risk than ever before because we've we're on that kind of you know hamster wheel of foreignness. And it's like, oh no, you know, Gary says no, we keep going. Uh I I don't feel that I need to, uh, you know, my the number after my my date of mirth might be very old, but I don't feel like I'm ready to retire. Uh but at the same time, I absolutely recognise that I'm slower um than I was because I'm, you know, but I'm intentional about managing it. So I think the danger of having everything all the time available, 24-7, isn't, isn't necessarily um healthy for humans.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

Yeah, I I quite that makes me think um I quite like what I've seen a lot of people put on their email signature block. Oops, so you mentioned email. Um you know, does what no matter what time you receive this email does not mean I expect a response. I expect you to, I would like a response in your working hours, even if I've sent this email at 2 a.m. kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

And I love the flexibility. I love working from home, I love that the flexibility, I love, you know, we've we've made so many strides in so many ways, and yet in other ways, um, you know, we've we've put an incredible amount of pressure on people. Uh, and one of the reasons that we do this live and unedited is absolutely there is no, you know, there's no pretense, there's no uh and it's that gentle kind of actually this is what this is what conversation used to be like in the olden days when people sat in each other's houses or at a cafe or you know, in the park. I love the fact that you have park benches that say this is a talking bench. Yeah, you can sit here if you don't mind talking. Um and I thought, gosh, you know, in the olden days um you would sit at a bench and if somebody didn't want to talk, you would just respect that, you wouldn't need to move away. You'd just say to somebody, you know, I just I need a bit of peace and quiet. Can we just sit together? And there wouldn't be an argument, they'd just be, yeah, sure. You know, and you'd sit. So I think there are many advantages, and we've we've we've made you know the technology um that we have available at our disposal is fabulous, and just just the fact that we can so easily do this.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

We're in Nottingham sure you're in Oxfordshire. Love it, and it's simple as and all over the world, you know.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

You can you can talk to people all over the world, it's fabulous, and I love that. And it um in in COVID, it was a lifesaver for me. I lived by myself, um, and to be able to FaceTime, you know, in when I was a child and my parents lived abroad, it took three weeks for a letter. So, you know, I was a prolific letter writer, um, and I'd write to them and then I'd have to wait three weeks because they never there weren't telephones, though you couldn't, you know, if you had if you had something really urgent, you sent a telegram.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

But if at the same time, picking up on what you two have said, when I was an estate agent, when I worked for Nigel Dixon and Co. 1998, 1999, we would receive the post once a day, we would have a meeting to open the post and to go through who was doing what, and we would get telephone calls, but the post, the important documents came into our office once a day at about 11 o'clock, and and that would be it, and we could then get on with our work. And I I think again, it's not just burnout, it's not just mental health. I don't think businesses, business people give themselves enough time to think to to actually sit there without actually doing anything, with a blank pad of paper or a keyboard in my case, and just think, and and that's um, I think that might be becoming a bit of a lost art. The the importance of stepping away from the desk with a challenge or an opportunity, and just thinking, right, how I don't need to reply now. Let me give myself an hour, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and just think about it. And I think that's a a lost art. I I loved hearing, but I I feel like the I feel like we've we've swapped sized LEDesque right now because I've loved listening to to your responses to that. I really am.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

Oh, fabulous, thank you. We can I think we usually, and that's one of the things that we love about the format of this show is that you just never know um what questions, and sometimes Rachel asks me a question like a oh wait a minute. I need I'm very good at tangents, but I just need a minute um think to think about it. Um so while I'm thinking, I tend to think out loud, but you're right, that time, time for creativity, time for uh and I say it's the it's the immediacy of everything, isn't it? Uh some things take some time to percolate. That's the word I was looking for. Percolate.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

That's a good word.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Yeah, to watch, don't you? Just you know, waiting um and just letting it settle. Um, and I think that's good for many conversations. Sometimes you just need to let it settle before you respond, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Completely agree.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Well, that's a great tip, great tip for life and business for all everyone that's listening. So, yeah. Okay, so I mean, I'm I'm quite sad to say this. It's that we're it's starting to get to time to draw the episode to a close. But before we do that, Steph, we would love you to tell people where they can connect with you, what you've got coming up, kind of what's going on in your world and how they can connect with you.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

I'd I'd love to connect with anyone um on whichever social media platform they prefer. I'm active on all of them. More active, most active on Facebook than anywhere else, but I'm active on LinkedIn, Instagram, Fred's particularly, and TikTok. Um I'm quite easy to find because I'm Stefan Thomas. I'm the the European spelling of Stefan, so S-T-E-F-A-N Thomas. Um, the website is stephanas.biz, um, and on most of the social media platforms, I am either Stefan Thomas Biz, B-I-Z, or StefanThomas.biz, all written out. And the reason that I'm that rather than Stefan Thomas is that the guy who lost £66 million in Bitcoin is also Stephan Thomas with exactly the same spelling. Um, so on the back of the fact that he had £66 million in Bitcoin, he was able to afford to buy all of the domain names before before I ever got around to it. So um I'm not that Stephan Thomas. I I get messages every week from people telling me they can unlock my crypto wallet. I don't even have one. Um but stefanhomas.biz is the website, um, and you'll find me on on every social media platform. And that's where I typically um let people know what I'm up to. On the website are my forthcoming public speaking engagements. Um, so I've I've got quite a lot more throughout the year at various business shows um right across the UK, um, which is is really fab. Always very happy to have a coffee with someone at um one of the business shows that I'm speaking at. Um so yeah, keep an eye on my website and my social for what else I'm up to, but very happy to connect with anyone who'd love to connect with me.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

Fantastic. And we'll make sure all of that goes in the show notes as well.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

So wherever people are in the world, they can uh indeed so.

SPEAKER_02 45:27

So all that remains really is to say a huge, deep, heartfelt thank you um to you for giving us your time and sharing your wisdom. As always, um it's uh it's a joy and a pleasure um to be in your company. So thank you. Yeah, we really appreciate it. We do.

SPEAKER_00 45:45

Um I've really enjoyed it. Sorry that I've got to go.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

I guess to be sorry. Um maybe there should be a part two sometime.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

Yeah, we'll do that. I'd love to. I've really enjoyed this, like genuinely I have. Um I'm really flattered to be invited, and I'm I'm really grateful for for you two for having me on.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Genuine with a J, of course. Um we spell it differently here. Um, so yes, all that remains is to say that we are coming to the end. So until next time, um be inspiring, stay brilliant, and we'll see you soon. Bye for now.

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Thank you.